Thursday, September 01, 2005

Americans with huge hearts!!

I posted yesterday about how I was ashamed to be an American when the concern over gas prices took precedence over the concern for human lives.... Today, I am finding that I was a bit presumptuous in my anger.

If you follow the link below you will see an outpouring of personal and I believe heartfelt ads for assistance for those devastated by Katrina. These people are willing to open their homes to let Katrina victims live rent free in open apartments, spare bedrooms or other sources of housing that might otherwise be rented, sold or sit empty!

Today I am proud to be an American. I can't say that I would personally offer up a spare bedroom (I don't have one anyway) to someone that I don't know or wasn't personally recommended...guess maybe I'm a little ashamed to be me today?

For anyone that is interested, I have however offered my volunteer services to the American Red Cross for nursing relief work during this time of need. I'm sure that the medical personnel are tired, stressed and it is only going to get worse in the upcoming weeks as the water is pumped out of the city and the sickness and disease begins to spread due to mal-nutrition, poor living conditions and the like. I have not yet heard anything from the Red Cross but will keep trying....

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Hurricane Katrina...gas prices soar

The news seems to be focused on the economical impact that Hurricane Katrina is going to have on things like our gas prices. Does it really matter that you might have to pay over $3/gal for gas when there are hundreds of thousands of people homeless....jobless....hungry.....grieving over lost/dead family members?? I am so angry right now at AMERICA!!! I would pay $20/gal for gas if this didn't have to happen to these fellow citizens!! It makes me ashamed to be an American when the media focuses on the economical factors!!! Come on people....lets just be thankful that we have our families. I can still tell my children "I love You"...I can still hug my Grandma.... I have a roof over my head and electricity and air-conditioning!! I am able to go to the sink and have a DRINK of WATER!!!! How many of the 1.5 million residents in New Orleans can say these same things? I am appalled by the conditions that I have heard are occuring in the Superdome!! I cant understand WHY my government has not gotten those people OUT!! Somewhere....Anywhere!!! I'm sure that they would be happier standing in the middle of a barren field with port-a-potties and fresh water..... I cant imagine what these people have lived through over the last 24-48's not about the almighty dollar, but the human factor!! So, please friends, family and AMERICA...dont gripe when you have to pay 30% more for your gas or groceries or heat in the winter!! Instead count yourself blessed that you have a car to put gas into...a job to drive that car to....a family to come home to and sit down to dinner with...

Just another thought...if we cant get to New Orleans by land, why not go by sea?

Sunday, August 07, 2005

San Diego Saga...The End

Sadly but true... I am no longer in San Diego. I finally made the decision to leave and although it was a difficult one, I think it was finally time. For a brief update...the company never did pay my rent...I was going to be "forcefully evicted" on August 1st if not out I put Trinity on a plane home on July 27th and packed my stuff and drove outta town on July 29th. I really liked San Diego and hope to return for another assignment sometime. It would be nice to experience the city without the stress I endured this time.

Trinity and I did get a few more things completed on our "to-do" list prior to her flying home. We made it to Sea World. We spent the day there with Phillip (another traveler) rode all the rides (Trinity rode her first roller coaster), saw all the shows and enjoyed the day exploring and laughing and eating poorly!! Trinity got to go Boogy=boarding....she had a blast! We never did get to Old Town. Guess we'll have to save that for the return trip. We spent a glorious day on Coronado Island. Rode the ferry over (which in my opinion was the best part of the trip). When we arrived on the island we rented a bench seated bike...I dont remember what they're called! I have to say...dont ever do it!! Although we had fun riding around the island it was HORRIBLE to pedal!! We both had sore legs when we finished!! I have some pictures that I would love to share but for some reason I cant get them to post...I will try later.

Corey, Aco and Me on the Road

Yes...Corey had to make the drive with me from San Diego....all the way across the country to Coryon Indiana!! I thought he was going to have a bitch-fit about it, but he was actually ok with it. It proved to be a great time. I dont know what Corey would say about the trip but overall it was very nice. Corey and I had some very interesting conversations to pass the road time....everything from evolution to education to people and culture. I really enjoy his company and he is awesome to talk to...he has an opinion and a theory to everything!! And of course, Mom is always WRONG!! Ha Ha After the first day on the road Aco decided that she would just sleep her time away and was an angel for the rest of the trip.

We spent our first night on the road and drove through Las Vegas. We took a slight detour and cruised along "The Strip". I think Corey was impressed with the vastness and the archetecture of the hotels/casinos! I offered to stop and explore but Corey was anxious to keep going and get home! We had a difficult time finding a hotel but finally around 4am we found a dumpy hotel about 10 winding miles into the desert off the highway. When we walked out of the hotel to start our second day on the road I think all the skin on our bodies began to melt!! It was about 110 degrees in the shade. After the great weather in San Diego, this was a shock to our systems!!

The second night was spent in Colorado...Glenwood Springs. Paid too much (again) for a dumpy old family hotel. But a good nights sleep was had by all of us and I got to enjoy the outdoor hot tub all by myself!! Sooooo relaxing!!

The drive from Glenwood Springs to Denver was beautiful although at one point I wasn't sure that my Explorer was going to make it up the mountain!! Past Denver things got really boring...the landscape is plain and blah!! Corey and Aco slept for the rest of Colorado and through most of Kansas! We did see a buffalo herd in Kansas somewhere along the highway.

The rest of the trip went very quick...Missouri....Illionis....then to Corydon. I ended up spending the first night in Corydon alone. This was really nice...funny how being alone is a treat sometimes!!

So...Corey is currently in Corydon with Jason. I am in Kendallville, enjoying the solitude of my own apartment. Trinity has visited me once when I first arrived in town and we are going to Rick's moms tomorrow for a cook-out. I have been told that Rick isn't going to be there so hopefully it will be an enjoyable day. I am trying to find work here as my next position (oh yeah..signed an 8 week contract in Cincinnait) doesnt' start untill Aug 22nd. I did receive my Ohio license in the mail Friday so I am hoping that maybe I can start a week early...will know more on Monday!

Guess that's enough for eyes are getting buggy and my @$$ hurts!! I will try to post more soon!

Please leave a comment just to let me know you stopped by!!

Monday, July 18, 2005

2005 US Open Sand Castle Competition
Posted by Picasa

What a fun and interesting day: Trinity and I enjoyed the sights of the Sandcastle competition today at Imperial Beach. Imperial Beach hosts the competition every year and the crowd was huge. The sandcastles were amazing. After viewing the castles/creations we decided to walk the strip and enjoyed a huge piece of peperoni pizza for lunch. We bought San Diego ball for each of us. (I need one for those early morning walks with Aco when I have "bed-head") Then we lounged on the beach for a little while before trecking home. Tomorrow we are going to try to make it out to Coronado Island via the ferry....the to-do list is slowly getting completed. We made it to Mexico a couple of days ago, but forgot the camera so no pictures. It's pretty much the same here as it was in Progresso, only a little larger. Still just as dirty. We had lunch at a bar/club and enjoyed a couple of margarita's (trins were non-alcoholic).

Broadway Pier...the Harbor
Posted by Picasa

Omg...I can't believe that I was actually able to get a picture to post!! I am so excited! The picture/collage that you see is from Broadway pier and the harbor in San Diego. Trinity and I had a great time exploring the harbor. We saw a bunch of boats/ships both big and small and had fish-n-chips for lunch. Took a ride along the harbor on a bike-taxi which was fun and nice for the aching feet. The cruise ship was HUGE and the old war ships were awesome to see. Best of all was seeing the excitement in Trinity's face with each new discovery.

Monday, July 11, 2005

The Recent Drama

I thought that the reasons for my going into travel nursing was to get as far away from the drama as possible. Well...somehow it isn't working. The past several weeks have been interesting to say the least. On June 23rd I received a note on my apartment door that my company had three days to pay my rent. Now, call me niave but I thought that since my company was taking money out of my weekly checks for housing that the housing cost's were actually being taken care of....silly me!! So, I contacted my company and they assured me that the issue was being taken care of and the rent was being sent federal express to the apartment complex. End of story....right?

Not quite...around the 2nd of July I recieved a letter from the court that the apartment complex is taking my company to court and is giving me a notice to vacate the premises. Again I phoned my company and this time they played stupid...claiming ignorance of the subject. I filled them in and forwarded a copy of the court paperwork to them and again was assured tthat the issue would be resolved promptly.

Here I sit almost a week later and I still dont know if I'm going to get escorted out of my apartment due to an eviction. I have been mulling it over in my mind and am not sure what path I should take in the matter.

Option #1 Hang out here and hope that the company pays the rent so that I dont get evicted or hope that I can finish my assignment prior to being evicted.

Option #2 Find another assignment in the Socal area and move into a new apartment and start a new contract, extending my time here in California by about 6-7 weeks.

Option #3 Tuck my tail between my legs and run home crying to "daddy"

I am planning to make some phone calls this morning and find out what is transpiring on the side of my company and see if they have yet to pay the rent. I have consulted with an attorney (or tried to) and going to try again tomorrow to get ahold of her to determine my best recourse. I would like to make this company "pay" for the undue stress that they have caused me and my family but of course....the good guy doesn't always win like they say. So....sitting and waiting....

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Summer in San Diego

Wow! I cant believe that it has been almost a month since my last post. So much has happened that I dont know if I can remember and get it all out here, but I'll try. My trip home was good. Randall helped me pack up my storage and pack the moving truck. I drove that Monster all the way to Kendallville without killing myself or any innocents. Dad, Dad, Mom, Mary and Trinity helped me move into the new place in Kendallville. It's a small apartment and I had to be creative with my storage but I think it's going to work out great for me. It is so comforting to know that I have a "home" now.

Trinity only has 2 1/2 weeks left here with me and I am dreading her going back home. We have spent quite a bit of time at the beach and the dog beach. Our first day on the beach we went sand-dollar hunting thanks to a friendly local who showed us how....we found 10 complete and intact sand dollars in about an hour!! Trinity was soooo excited. We had a lot of fun. I have to be careful how long she is out in the sun though...that girl burns sooooo easily.

San Diego has a variety of "off-leash" parks for dogs and I have been hesitant to take Aco although wanting to very, while we were there one day, just checking things out we met Mia. She had a beautiful dog with her although I cant remember the breed and she convinced me to let Aco run free. The dogs had a great time running and playing with each other. Since that first day, we have been to the dog beach once or twice a week. I'm going to miss the beach when we leave. Aco has gotten more used to the surf and will actually get a little wet now with some coaxing with a frisbee or a ball!!

I almost feel bad that I havent' shown Trinity more of what San Diego has to offer but I have been so stressed you cant even begin to imagine. I will explain more of that a little later. Trinity and I have explored Balboa Park, watched the hang-gliders jump from the cliffs over LaJolla, walked LaJolla Cove, visited Scripps Aquarium, window shopped at the local mall, watched War of The Worlds in the front row the day after it released and have become addicted to Cold Stone Creamery!! We celebrated Trinity's birthday with Sushi for lunch and presents and cake from Cold Stone! I think she enjoyed herself. We went to Mt. Soledad with Clint, another Nurse traveler to watch the fireworks and had an awesome view of the city and the coast. We were able to see all three sets of fireworks from Coronado Island along with the ones from Pacific Beach and Ocean Beach and also Sea World. There with other scattered fireworks also. We played yatzee and mancala while sitting on a blanket waiting for the sun to set. It was the best sunset we have seen since we've been here.

There is still so much on our to-do list....Sea World, Old Town, Cabrillo National Monument, Little Italy, Mexico. I just dont know if we'll get it all done before she has to go. The best part of the summer so far is just having my family together....Corey swamped us at Yatzee one night getting 10 Yatzee's in a row!! Trinity and I spent about two hours last night working on the San Diego scrapbook. I love how it's coming along. Unfortunately for the first two weeks that Trinity was here we kept forgetting to take the camera along with us so we didn't get pictures of lots of things. I think we're making up for it now!!

Friday, June 10, 2005

The Airport...people watching

So, here I sit at the airport in Houston TX. I've been here for almost three hours and am currently sitting and people watching. My flight leaves in about half an hour so I will make this short and quick. I'm in a small part of the airport and fortunately they decided that it's important to have alcohol available to those that are interested. There is a full bar within view with several patrons taking that last drink prior to their flight leaving....Michael Jacksons trial is on the TV and many are watching in deep anticipation of the outcome. There is a your girl sitting across from me with headphones on in her own world...funny with the invention of the modern electronics how we tend to "tune out" rather than interact with those around us. I sat at the bar earlier and had a couple of drinks. Chatted with a man from CT for a while heading back home. I enjoy hearing about other peoples travels and life...makes me worry less about mine. So the girl with the to her is a young man who would probably love to talk to her but she is so absorbed in her music that she isn't interested. They are about the same age and it would be interesting to see them interact. Another girl sitting beside me is currently placing her headphones on to block out any unwanted intrusions. She is writing in some sort of small notebook. I wonder as I write, Is she writing about me or the others around me?? I would love to chat with anyone that would but most just want to be left alone.... Some people are reading or just acting like they dont want to be bothered. Carrying an array of backpacks and suitcases...purses or any color...some in suits and some in sweats. A woman across the waiting area is stretching her legs after, I presume a long flight or at least a long wait. The atmosphere is dull to say the least. No excitement no thrill....just tired passengers in a hurry to get wherever it is that they are heading whether it be home or somewhere for work or pleasure. So, here I sit...just like the rest....waiting.....

The stress level is better now than last night. I spent my morning finding the Fed-ex building and then finding a place to cash my paycheck...the company that I am working for is not paying me correctly and that is another thing that I will have to deal with at some point....not today! It ended up costing me almost $40 to get my check cashed and I plan to have the company reimburse me for that amount...wouldn't have had the charge if they had direct deposit like they were supposed to. There is another young girl across from me traveling with (i'm guessing here) her grandmother and she is on the phone bitching about some flight delay that she had....welcome to flying!!! The waiting area is thinning out a little now as one of the flights has boarded and ready to leave now. I am almost certain that half of those still waiting are going to be on my flight....

I spoke to Randall today and he is meeting me at the airport in Louisville when I arrive. It is actually nice to know that someone actually wants to see me. I am still feeling a bit sorry for myself...I am feeling like I really have no true friends and it's a little lonley. Sometimes I wonder if I should pick a spot and try to place roots but the bigger part of me just wants to continue to travel and see all the places that I can see and experience. Maybe someday I will setttle down....not today though.

My flight is being delayed now...crew isn't available yet. I suppose that IKt will be late when I get in tonight but at least I wont be arriving to an empty airport...or an empty feeling (I hope).

Homesick...yes, I'm HOMESICK!!

I dont really know if it's home-sickness or if it's just stress!! I'm finished with my third week on the job and the job is going great but the company that I work for is fu**ing horrible! I arrived in San Diego with not much $$ left from my stash. It costs a lot to drive half way across the country. So, not to worry I told myself. I was only a week away from a paycheck and I was alone, so If the food situation was slim then maybe my body would be too...ha ha! So, when it was time for my first check, I waited....and called....and waited...and called...and called...and waited!! Well you get the picture. So here I am now with two teenage boys in the house (Corey and his friend Jason) with NO food and NO money!! And my company says "sorry"!! At 35 years old, I called my Dad and asked to have him send $$ for me. I also needed to book my airline ticket to go home to get Trinity so again, Dad helped me out!! Talk about feeling like shit!! It really sucks to have to ask your parents for $$ when you are a full grown WORKING adult!! Finally, last weeks pay came through for me...although it was short by about $400!! I was told "dont worry, we will put it on your next check" yeah...easy for them to say!! They didn't have to just ask "Dad" to wire money!!!

So here we are waiting for week two's paycheck to come.....

I called the company this morning because the check hadn't posted to my checking account and I was told "we're sorry, it didn't go direct deposit like it was supposed to but I have a check for you here in my hand...what do you want me to do?" Well...what I wanted to say was for them to "fly your fu**ing @$$ out to California on the next "red=eye" and bring me my damn money!!" However, I held my breath (Corey keeps telling me that I'm too mean with people and basically he thinks that you get more with sugar than with vinegar) maybe he's right?? So it was concluded that the $$ would be fed-exed to me to arrive by 10:30am tomorrow, Friday. This is all good and fine.....know what time my flight leaves tomorrow?? 11:30am!!! I sit hoping against hope that the fed-ex guy will deliver early tomorrow so that I can make my flight with a little hope of some cash!! I have $40 in my pocket and $-23 in the bank currently!! My auto insurance wasn't paid (just realized that yesterday), my car payment is LATE, my student loans are LATE, I owe my Dad about $500....and I'm so stressed out that I cant even relax!!

Oh yeah...I almost forgot!! My company called me today to tell me that the almost $1000 that they owe me for my travel and license reimbursement isn't going to come till next week!!! Do you think that will happen??? Not Likely!!!

Realize that even if I do get a check tomorrow...there isn't ANYWHERE here that will cash the damn thing for me....outta state check ya know?? So.....I will have to hope that somewhere in Louisville, I can get a check cashed!! Or, maybe I can cry and beg and plead a little with who knows who to get some help???? I feel so lost, angry, alone, and pissed!! Then to top it all off, I dont even know how I am going to get my stuff packed up in the $300 rental truck that I have reserved??? No one is going to be available to help....great??@!@ So, right now I am thinking that I may just pass the rental truck, get a van or something and just take the stuff that is sentimental to me?? Who knows? Maybe I should just keep stuff in storage for now and go home later to deal with this? If I just go home and get my baby (Trinity) and give her a hug....I'll feel sooooo much better!! Know what?? I miss my Daddy too!!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Time to start.

Ok, finally all the traveling and moving is finished. Now it's time to start living. I am so excited about all that San Diego has to offer. I am looking forward to meeting new people and making some new friends in the city.

Today I am going to La Jolla beach for a beach walk with a local activities group. Dont know if it will pan out to anything or not but at least I will enjoy a day at the beach. We are going on a "low tide" walk along the shore of laJolla beach. I am hoping to see some interesting ocean life. I'm taking the camera so I can hopefully get some pics.

This afternoon I have to find my way to work, so that tomorrow morning I'm not lost in all the traffic. I am still nervous about the new job. I guess no matter how many times I do this I will still be nervous on the first day. I'm sure it will be fine...nursing is nursing, right?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

It's GREEN again!!

Arriving in San Diego was an awesome sight after the bleariness of the desert. The green just poped up when I crossed the mountains into San Diego. Palm sky.... I am happy to have arrived. I think that I've checked in with everyone and told them that I'm ok?? My apartment complex is awesome. Two sections with each having it's own pool, fitness center, and business center. The complex is landscaped beautifully! There are these tiny little white flowers that smell wonderful and trees with purple blooms and bird of paradise and pink flowers on vines on the buildings.... Have I arrived in Heaven?? The apartment is very nice (the nicest place this mid-western chick has ever lived in). I have a garden tub in the bathroom, a nice sized corner patio. Pitfall....third floor!! Uggggghhhh I have to drag all my shit up THREE flights of steps! Elevator?? NOPE...guess this will be good for my fat ass! I'm considering this my workout for the next few days. Have to drive to Sacramento on Thursday, so going to rest a little today and tomorrow. Will save exploring the city for another day.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Cactus, sand, and sun

I've been four days on the road now and for the majority of the trip all I've seen is cactus and sand!! The sun is always shining and the heat is almost unbearable. Anyone who ever said that a "dry heat" is easier to bear than a "humid heat" has lost their mind or not ever experienced a "dry heat". Driving through the desert is an experience of it's own. There were places that I drove through that I could never imagine surviving without a vehicle. Leaving Southern Texas all the way through New Mexico and then through Arizona, I expected somewhat of a change in the landscape. I guess I'm not real sure what I expected, but this was perhaps the most desolate drive that I have ever taken. There were some highlights....While driving through Arizona I suddenly encountered an area called "Texas Canyon" (i think). This area suddenly looked like a giants playground. Large rounded HUGE rounded boulders stacked and placed like a huge giant had been playing with them, perched along the road and on the hills. It was an amazing I drove through them I had to wonder how they stayed in place. Several of them looked like a small wind would knock them off their perch and onto my vehicle!! I still never saw any armidillo. I did however get to see lots and lots of Lizards and Cactus!! The cactus are blooming and are very pretty in their own way. Bright flowers of yellow, red, and orange. The Saguaro cactus are huge and some look like a human standing with arms outstretched. The people that I encountered along the way were all very friendly.

Along Highway 10 near Tuscan, AZ is a small railroad ghost town that I stopped and took some pictures of. I found it interesting that the hotel (not much left except a few bricks) was in place and operational in the 50's. Which in essence means that my grandparents could have actually stayed there.

As I encountered people living in the small towns along the way, I found myself wondering if this is the only life that these people will ever know. Small town living, everyone knows everyone, will they ever leave and experience anything other than the desert? Will they ever step foot in a city.....what would they think of the hussle of city life? Could they live on a lake and enjoy fishing and swimming? Or maybe in the mountains, where there is snow the entire year long? I guess I'll never know. I am so very thankful that I am able to experience these things and more.

I am currently in Yuma, AZ. Today, I will check into my apartment in San Diego. I am nervous and excited at the same time. Looking forward to another adventure and never forgetting the people that I have encountered along the way.....

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Road Trip...the course is mapped

I am excited about San Diego. Corey's airline ticket is purchased and he is flying to Louisville to visit with friends for a couple of weeks so that I can settle in at San Diego. I have checked the map and my course is set...well as set as it can be, seeing that it IS a roadtrip!! Looks like I will have 2-3 extra days for the road trip in case I meet someone interesting or see something I want to check out along the way. The truck is in good shape, except that I still have to get the fuse checked for my breaklights!! My packing has started and I am ready to get the hell out of here! I have 7 more shifts left and I cant tell you how difficult it is going to work each and every night. But...think about that road trip and a new and exciting experience in a new city!! I cant wait!

The weather here has been high 90's with 100% humidity and is mostly miserable unless you are in the pool, which is where I spent part of the day yesterday. Well, after I got my hair cut and now look like a dike!! Nothing like a bad haircut to make you feel good...ugggghhhhh!!! I guess it will grow back, right??

Ed, Theresa, Corey and I are headed to San Antonio today to see the Alamo and walk the riverwalk....I think it is going to be a lot of fun! I will post soon and let you know how the trip is. All the pups are going with us, so it could prove to be an interesting trip!


Wednesday, April 27, 2005

San Diego here we come....

I haven't signed the contract yet but everything is pretty well set. I am going to San Diego for my next assignment. We arent' going to be on the beach like I had hoped but it looks like we'll have a nice apartment anyway. I have been doing some research on the San Diego area and there is so much to see and do...I dont know if 13 weeks will be enough time or not? Trinity is going to spend 6 weeks with me this summer and she is looking forward to being in California.

Hopefully the social life will improve in SD? Things have been really quiet here on the social front. Could it be that I am at the end of the world? No, I know I'm not, but some days it sure feels that way!

I have started my "to do" list and it sure seems like I have a bunch of sh*t to do. But I guess it always works out. I just hope I can fit all my junk into the truck! It's funny how easy it is to accumulate stuff....nothing that really matters....just stuff.

Gone for now....I'll keep you posted! (((((((hugs to everyone))))))))))

Monday, April 25, 2005


I prefer a life drama free!! I only have 8 more shifts to go....I can do it!! Another day from or in Hell!! I have spoken to my recruiter and also to my DON and requested that I be moved to another rotation/shift/facility for the remainder of my assignment. I dont know yet if anything is going to get done or not but I cant wait to be out of here... Last night's new rule (for me only) is that I am restricted on my breaks...I dont mind rules but lets be fair about this and make the rules the same for everyone. Isn't there some law that forbids that kind of discrimination? I may have to look into that. But for now I just want to survive without the chest pain, abdominal pain and migraines!!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Another Day In HELL

You've heard the song "Just another day in Paradise"?? Well tonight was just "another day in HELL". For purposes of the distant reader, I am going to back up one day to the night before last.....

I had decided since my post titled "just another rant... " that I was just going to keep to myself and pass any information to the day shift charge RN instead of trying to approach my charge nurse. I thought that I had done a good job in my attempts to stay away and not bother the charge nurse (every request feels like a "bother"). However, I guess I was mistaken. Theresa and I took lunch together (as usual), and I told the charge nurse prior to going to lunch that I was taking my lunch. After we ate, I stepped off the floor to smoke (still during my lunch period). Theresa stayed behind due to the charge nurses prior request (or demand) that "per the DON" we are no longer allowed to have more than one nurse off the floor at a time. When I returned to the floor at the end of my lunch period, the charge nurse with hands on hips approached me and pointed at me then to the breakroom and stated "Candy, I need to talk to you." I replied that it was fine and requested to have someone wittness our conversation. I do not feel comfortable with any conversations with this charge nurse without a wittness. Upon my request for a wittness, the charge nurse stated "we can just do it here (at nurses station) if you want". I stated that I didn't have anything to hide and didn't care who heard what he had to say to me. At this time he proceeded (in what I must say was a very un-professional tone) to tell me that I was not to leave the floor without telling him. I explained that my patients were being covered by one of the other nurses during my lunch period and that I told him that I was going to lunch. His reply was that "yes" he knew I was going to lunch but I didn't tell him that I was leaving the floor. I told him that I assumed my lunch was my time and assumed (incorrectly) that he knew that I would be taking time off the floor. His reply was "dont do it again".

Later that night, I went to the desk to inform him that I was going to step off the floor for a minute (another nurse, again was covering my patients). He informed me, again at the nurses station that I was not allowed to have any more breaks that night. In response I informed him that my patients were covered and ok and that I WAS going to take a quick break. He told me that if I went off the floor that I could "clock out and go home". Other things were said....I really lost track of all of it but in the end I basically told him that I was going to take a break and if he still wanted to send me home when I returned then I would go home, but I WAS going to take a break. Somewhere in the midst of this conversation, I notified the DON of the arrising situation. When I returned to the floor, I approached him at the nurses station and asked if he wanted me to go home. He replied "no", he further stated something about not wanting to be "punitive" but that it was important to him that he know where all the staff is at all times. I agreed that he should know where the staff is and agreed to inform him (even during my lunch periods) of my leaving the floor.

Later that evening when things had cooled off a little, I approached him again (at the nurses station) and told him that it seemed as though his expectations had changed on a daily basis and that in order to avoid similar situations in the future it would be helpful for me to know what his expectations were. He again stated that he just wanted to know when I was leaving the floor. I agreed. I then asked him if there was an issue with the amount of breaks/time off the floor that I had. He replied "no".

I finished out the remainder of my shift without issues....taking my breaks as I have done since prior to him becoming charge nurse.

Moving forward to last night............
I decided to work in the hall rather than close to the nurses station again in attempt to "keep clear" to hopefully avoid confrontation. I took my breaks as usual and informed him each time that I left the floor including twice during my lunch (once at the beginning and once at the end). I noticed as I was leaving the floor on one break that he was taking tally marks each time that I left the floor. Now, realize if you would that this is the same man that less than 24 hours prior stated to me that he did not have an issue with the number of breaks that I had been taking, only that I needed to let him know when I was going off the floor. When I first realized what was happening, I kindof laughed to myself thinking that there are much more important things for him to worry about than how many breaks I'm taking...for instance, am I doing my JOB? Are my medications late? Are my patients clean and dry? Am I getting my work done in the time allotted during my shift? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding YES!! A couple more questions he might worry about rather than my breaks is Are my patients in pain? Are my patients being neglected? Do the other nurses feel burdened by my taking breaks? The answer to these questions is NO. I always ensure that my patients are comfortable and stable prior to leaving the floor in addition to making sure that someone is watching them.

In a nutshell, I feel like this nurse is being unreasonable in his actions toward me. I don't really know what is going on but there is obviously some issues. I worked with him prior to his becoming charge nurse and we took breaks together....the same amount of breaks!! The hostility that is being felt is unbearable. I am so very ready for this assignment to be over. I am counting the number of shifts left (9 more in case you are interested in knowing). Tonite, I was having chest pain due to the stress level. I dont feel that I have done anything wrong. The rest of the staff could probably attest to the un-professional attitude that this man exhibits as most of them have observed it at some point or another. The entire situation makes for a horrible working environment. It is becoming difficult to focus on the tasks at hand when I am wondering when and why this nurse is going to jump down my throat or change the rules again. It's really a shame because prior to this nurse becoming charge, we got along fine and there was no hostility between us. I really enjoy the job and the others that I work with are great!! I was hoping to extend this assignment but in light of the current situation, I cant get out fast enough!

I am sorry that this is so long and boring but I had to get it off my chest...thanks! I feel better now (well just a little...I have to work again tonight).

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Coffee...sangria...and more, oh My!!

A bunch has been happening.... I went to Progresso, Mexico for my first Mexican dental experience. Anyone that knows me, knows how scared I am of the dentist...let alone going in a foreign country!!! It turned out to be a great experience. The dentist was very gentle and explained everything to ENGLISH!! ha ha So, I go back tomorrow to get things finished up. NO MORE CANDIED PECANS!!!!

Theresa, Ed and I spent Saturday at the island...again. We walked and laid on the beach and enjoyed the salt air and warm sun. Then we went to something called SPLASH at Tequilla Frogs, one of the many bars on the island. Splash is an annual gay/lesbian event and was a huge blast!! And...I didn't get hit on (always a good thing in an alternative environment). We all got a little too much sun and some of us...I won't say names...had a little too much alcohol too!! I got to flirt with the waiter at Denny's...he remembered me! There were lots of bikers on the island this weekend too, apparently some sort of Biker Fest was going, some of those boys are HOT!!

On the work side of things...the forementioned "charge nurse" is behaving for now. Actually, he is acting like nothing at all happened. I have a difficult time respecting people that behave that way. It's like nothing happened and everything is just like it was before...maybe for him, but once I lose respect for sorry!! So, I am anxiouly (kindof) awaiting my exit from here. Although I am truly going to miss Theresa and Ed. I will definately be a little saddened when I have to leave them as they have become good friends during the time here. I will miss them. Maybe...sometime in the future we can find our way to another assignment together!

I am trying to get some pictures on here but am having lots of trouble.... I wish I knew how to make my own site for pictures to link to. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to let me know!! I'm just a computer idiot at times...but I fuddle my way through the best I can.

So...four more weeks of coffee on the patio with Theresa in the mornings and drinks on the patio with her and Ed in the evenings... Did I mention that I found a GREAT place for Sangria? OMG!! I am in love....maybe I'll stay just for the sangria?? No, probably not? Oh, and I cant forget days off on the beach or sitting by the pool or in the not-so-hot tub..ha ha! It really has been a good time here...I feel like I am on vacation.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Just a simple, or not so simple RANT

I'll apologize up front to all of those that are looking to see what I've been up to and what new adventure or new friend that I have I need to vent.

Where to start? How about the beginning... When I started this job, I was the only traveler on my shift. I was somewhat dismayed by the lack of direction that the facility and staff showed. However, the job proved to be exciting and challenging and the staff friendly. Shortly after, two more travelers joined me on the night shift....we became instant "buddies". We all saw the same shortfalls in the staff and would share our frustrations with each other. of us became "charge nurse". My initial thoughts were that this would provide us (travelers) an opportunity to show by example the way to lead and work in a group that works together and helps each other...a true team. I was proven wrong.

Upon taking the postion as "charge" this nurse almost instantly became something other than what I would have ever expected by the comments/shared thoughts prior to the job change. The nurse that previously had commented that "the charge nurse should be doing all of our chart checks", soon became the charge nurse that said "dont think I'm going to do your chart have to just do them yourself". The nurse that had promoted himself as a team player suddenly became the nurse that tells you "I just dont have time to deal with that". The same nurse that one day told me how the charge nurse is "lazy and never does anything" became the charge nurse that sits at the desk and tells jokes to the unit clerk while the rest of us are running our assess off. The nurse that I could once go to for any question or assistance became short tempered and rude when asked even the simplest of questions. I have watched as this nurse has become angry, vendictive, rude, and lazy. I ask myself if this was always the case?

Last night was the end all be all...... A patient under the care of one of our LPN's became severely hypotensive. Myself, along with the charge nurse mentioned above and another LPN were in the patients room trying to assess the situation. We were working together well as a team, each contributing ideas and assistance. The charge nurse left the room when we were unable to obtain a blood pressure on the patient, to call the physician. I remembered how once, when working with a former navy corpman....we had the same problem and how she had taught me to palpate a BP. I placed the patient in trendelenburg (head down) position and palpated for a BP. I was able to palpate a BP and immediately went to the desk to tell the charge nurse my findings for him to report to the MD. When he arrived back in the room, following more assessment and patient care...he looked at me and rudely said "dont you have patients?" I replied "yes" and he told me to "get out of here and go take care of them". Mind you, this was at the end of the shift and my patients had just been checked and were all fine. I left the room without further word with this charge nurse. The two LPN's remained in the room, and no comments were made to them regarding other obligations.

I consulted with one of the LPN's after our shift was over in regards to the rudeness that I felt was directed toward me in this situation and we discussed ways in which I could handle the situation. We both feel that I can't approach this person, it would fall on deaf ears. I dont feel as though I can tell the director of nursing because when I discussed issues with staff previously regarding tardiness and not wanting to take report, her response was "you have to remember that we are on "valley time" and you have to pick your fights here or we wont have any staff left". As the old saying goes, "I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place".

All of this comes one day after a confrontation with the day shift charge nurse in regards to him not wanting to take report from me on my patients. There was finger pointing (at me) and plenty of tension.

I am finding myself dreading going to work....I dont want to be there, I am getting headaches before I even leave for work. I know that I only have four weeks left here and although I was considering extending the assignment here...this is no longer an option. I can't work with this charge nurse any longer than I have to. If I could have walked out today to never go back I would have been estatic...that isn't an option. I really like the work and the patients are great...such a wonderful mix of people from all over the US. I am even learning a little spanish. I will do my best at this point to avoid the charge nurse at all costs and do my job and help my co-workers, I'm just not sure how long I can take the rudeness and crask attitude that I'm getting.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

The Hidden Danger of Candied Pecans

Yep...candied pecans! Made fresh on the street in a boiling pot of oil, sweet, hot and so very innocent looking. Very yummy and you know my love for sweets! wonderful as they are, I will never eat them again. I picked up a small bag of these delectable yet dangerous goodies in Progresso, Mexico today and saved them for an evening snack. Upon crunching on my first bite....yes, my FIRST bite...I chipped a tooth!! Guess I need to go back to Mexico and see the dentist next time. Bad thing is that I have to work the next three days. For now the tooth doesnt hurt, it just feels really wierd with it's sharp edges. So, no more candied pecans for me! Guess I should have passed them up this time as the waistline doesn't need them anyway! Maybe someone is trying to tell me something? Ha Ha Theresa, Ed, Paul and I went back to Progresso today and had a great time. We stopped in a little cafe and had breakfast while listening to a Mariachi band, then we wandered the streets and attempted to jew the vendors down. I picked up some noise makers for Trinity "almost free"! She will love them but I'm sure that her Dad will want to kill me for sending them! After shopping all morning we landed a Poncho's for beer and margarita's. Live music today included some really BAD country singer!! We were more than happy when the Mariachi band wandered into the bar and gave a slight reprive from the bad karoke type country music! After a couple of drinks, we wandered down the street for some fresh taquito's from one of the street stands. I'll save the details but after only one bite, Therea decided that maybe she had one too many margarita's!! Final stops included the pharmacy and liquor store as everyone knows that no trip to Mexico is complete without alcohol and drugs....the legal ones!

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Only six weeks left....and counting!

I'm down to six more weeks here in Southern Texas and have been trying to make the best of the remaining time here. Trinity came down for Spring Break and we had a great time. We didn't get to do a bunch but spending time together with her as a family was great! We enjoyed a day at the beach at South Padre Island and ate too much goodies including ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery. We celebrated Corey's birthday with cake, baloons and jokes all around. I cant hardly believe that he is 17 already....makes me feel old!

I have been hanging out with several of the other travelers here. Ed and Theresa from Wisconson, and Paul from San Antonio. We are getting along great and have taken several trips into Mexico for booze and drugs (legal ones)! We ate at a little street-side taco stand one day and had the BEST taco's I've ever eaten! The vendors are crazy....if you ask how much "quanto es?" they will tell you one thing and as you walk away...they will keep going down until you cant hear them call out anymore. The best saying yet is "almost free"....everything in Progresso is "almost free" no matter what the cost

Theresa and I spent this past weekend at South Padre Island. We rented a "condo" from our DON. I have to say that some people's taste is a far cry from tasteful!! Royal blue carpet and 4 foot parrots on the wall is not my idea of good taste! Once we were able to look past the horrid decorating in the condo....we had a great time. Had drinks (too many...or just enough, I'm not sure) at a little out-door bar called Tequilla Sunrise. There was live music and too many sexy men!! Met a guy from Dallas named David and hung out with him and his friend (cant remember his name). We laughed and danced and joked and drank then had breakfast together.

Theresa and I got too much sun on the beach and it's amazing how much sand a body can pick up!!! Aco had a great time running on the beach but she is still afraid of the waves and will do anything possible to stay as far away as funny to watch her "dig" in the sand to keep from the waves.

In two weeks it is fiesta in San Antonio and we are all planning to go and stay at Paul's place and party for the weekend. Also planning a trip to Mexico City before I leave. I am kindof not looking forward to leaving as I have met some great people and we are having a lot of fun together. Theresa is talking about trying to get a position where-ever I end up so we can party together some more!! It would be great if she can. She has a few more weeks here than I do....we'll see what happens.

Enough for now....

Friday, March 11, 2005

An Apology and an Update

First I would like to apologize to all my friends and followers out there for the delay in my posting. I cant believe that it has been more than a month since my last post here. I could give the excuse that I've been busy....and I have been, but excuses are worthless in my opinion. So, I'm sorry.

Now for an update:
I've been here in McAllen for about a month now and I think I have had something like four days off excluding the last three days in which I had to go to Indiana for court (remember that?). So, I've been working my little (or not so little) hiney off! I have met some great people at the new hospital. Estel, Ray, Paul, Copelyn, Myrna, and many others. The staff here has made me feel right at home. The nights are long and I am trying not only to adjust to the night-shift but also to the difference in acuity of my patients. It has so far, been a very good experience and is "pushing the envelope" and providing many opportunities for me to increase my clinical skills. Like most hospitals in the great USA, we are short staffed most of the time but so far the patient loads have been manageable.

On the social end of's been very quiet and lonley. I am already missing my friends in Boston and back home. I have tried to keep phone/email contact and I do know that I have not done as well with this as I should... The city of McAllen affords a wonderful array of traditional Mexican food which is wonderful!! The other night I shared a "Botana" (i think that's how you spell it) with my co-workers....yummy yummy!!! I have yet to venture out on my own much due to the hours that I have been working and the fact that I am a bit intimidated by the fact that I am a minority here. I am hoping that I will soon overcome this and get the hell out of the apartment! A fellow traveler and I are planning to go into Mexico one day next week to explore and do a little shopping, looking forward to this.

I just returned from Indiana today. Had to deal with the court/ex-husband on some child support/visitation issues.... this turned in my favor! I dont yet know if the court will order me to pay child support or not, the judge is reviewing it and will decide within two weeks. I will keep you posted. For those of you that are aware of the trials I have had in attempting to obtain my rightful visitation, hopefully this issue is now solved. The judge actually told my ex "I have half a mind to charge you with contempt right now". I have been given authority to have visitation for Spring Break and am looking forward to Trinity coming here to sunny McAllen for the week. The travel arrangements have already been made and she is eagerly anticipating the trip. She will be flying alone for the first time and a little nervous about the flight but excited. There were a couple of pivital (sp?) moments in the courtroom that I am going to try to share...frankly, I feel like the Judge finally realized the true nature that is my ex.
- a comment from the judge in response to Ricks plea of having a difficult time financially was "get a job" Interesting and enlightening concept!!
- the "priceless" look on the judge's face when the ex was denying receipt of THREE different certified letters from me
- the comment from the judge to me that "you are going above and beyond" when he realized that I provide a phone for contact with my daughter and talk to her almost every day
- the fact that Rick is now Ordered by the court to obtain a phone so that I may have a way to contact him in regards to visitation...when he could have used Trinity's cell!!
-I will now get 6 weeks of visitation with Trinity for the summer school break along with standard visitation for a "distant" parent (if this is denied, it will probably mean contempt charges for my ex with the penalty that comes with contempt up to jail)

So, overall I feel good about the outcome of court. I will await to hear about the support issue, but in the meantime I will enjoy the ability to have quality time with my daughter!!

I am off to work tonite so I am going to get going for now and I will try to update more frequently as time allows. I am hoping to work lots of overtime and stash some "fun money" away while I am here. Trinity will be here March 20th for a week so you may not get an update until after she goes back home.

good day to all....

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Arrived in McAllen, TX

Two days in New day in Corpus Christi, day on South Padre I'm in McAllen!!! It's been a very, very long trip....but all is well. I LOVE my new apartment and the town seems good so far. Lots of Mexican's but they have been very polite so far and I dont feel as much like a minority as I thought I might. My recruiter sent me a boquet of flowers to brighten up the apartment (I thought it was a nice touch). Lisa and I are whipped!! I found my way around town and to work. Lisa helped me "set-up" the apartment and everything is in place and I feel like I am at home. Lisa fly's out Friday and Corey will be arriving in town Friday also...I miss that Brat!! I still have a hundred things that I need to finish up, but today was a day of rest!! Much needed, I might add!! I am hoping to post some pictures soon of the new place so keep an eye out....

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Trip update

Well....made it to Indiana!! I spent a wonderful 3 days in Kendallville with my daughter and family. It was so good to see Trinity. She is having a difficult time with me moving to a new place. She was a little tearful but I think that she is going to be fine in the long run. Hopefully she will get to visit me in March for Spring Break. From Kendallville, I was off to Southern Indiana....had a fun reunion with some of my friends/co-workers there. I only had a day and half there and had so much to do that I really didn't get to spend as much time with people as I had hoped but at least I got to see most everyone.

I had set up a get-together in both Kendallville and Louisville and it was interesting that my "home town" of Kendallville...none of my friends showed up and in Louisville...almost every one that I invited showed!! Guess maybe home isn't really Kendallville, huh?? There were a couple of friends that wern't able to make it in louisville and I wasn't able to see them but maybe next time will work out better.

I am now sitting in the hotel in NOLA...the trip here was uneventful, thankfully!! Went to the quarter last night and had a great time, as always!! Right now we are just resting up for tonite, ha ha.

We ran into a "Mardi Gras Virgin" last night and had to give him a lesson on the proper bartering for beads....I think I have a pic, I'll check later and try to get some posted. Got some good beads!!

On the job front, everything is in place. Just wating for a couple of revisions on my contract and then it will be finalized. My TX license went through without any issues and housing is set up and ready to go.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

New Assignment

Hello all!! Looks like McAllen Texas is the next adventure!! There are a few complications that may delay my start date but everything is in the works... Two more days and I'm off to Indiana!! Will keep everyone posted on the trip as well as I can.

See the "little" people walking through the snow??
Posted by Hello

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Mass Blizzard 2005
Posted by Hello

The Final Days

Well, I know it's been a while since i've posted and to those of you following appologies! I have been working with several recruiters in attempt to find the "perfect" assignment. So far, I am beginning to think that this is futile. On Thursday, I recieved calls from three different recruiters with whom I was awaiting interviews. One client dropped the pay by $7/hr, the next decided that the positions were filled and the third decided that they no longer needed a traveler and put the assignment on here I am a week past my deadline still waiting to decide on a position. I am hoping that I will have my final interview tomorrow and be able to make a decision. Right now, I am looking at either a home health positon in California or a LTC position in Southern Texas. I am actually holding out for the Southern Texas job!! Wish me luck!!

I am down to five more working days at the current assignment and things are getting more and more difficult to deal with...the disorganization and mis-management are intollerable at times. I spent my day today sorting through things and attempting to begin my packing. I assure you that I really did not get much done...but then again, I dont have much to pack either.

Friday night I went out to dinner with Pam, a fellow traveler, in Providence. We ate a a place called the Big Fish...great food! Needless to say...I overate!! I then spent the rest of the evening saying my goodbye's to my friend Walter. We have been seeing each other since September and it was actually kind of sad to be leaving and not knowing when I will see him again. Yes...I really did write that! He is one of few that really "understand" me.

So, I guess you could say that it is going to be a little bittersweet leaving here. The people/friends that I have met during my time here will stay with me forever...the experience is one not to be forgotten. The best advice I can give anyone is to make your own judgements on an area and it's people...the people here are not what I would ever had expected.

I am looking forward to going home and seeing my friends...I am actually going to make time to see everyone while I am home this time!! It is so difficult to do that, especially during the holidays but this time I am committed!! I have such wonderful and supportive friends and although I probably dont let them know...I appreciate them sooo very much!!

We had a blizzard come through last night...see the picture attached. The picture really doesn't do it justice. I commend the highway department here in MA for their quick and constant response to the snowfall...they were parked on the side of the highways long before the snow started falling and worked all night to clear the roads and keep them passable. I haven't ventured out yet...really dont care for the snow, but traffic seems to be moving along fine.

The Patriots have made it to the SuperBowl!!! YEAH Go PAT's!!! I'm sure that Boston will go crazy next week watching the game...guess i'll be missing that one.

It may be a while before I get back online to update, so much to do.... Please be patient and I will fill you all in when I can. I'll be in Kendallville, IN on Saturday then in Louisville, KY on Feb 2nd then on to New Orleans on the 4th then from there to my next assignment....gonna be a traveling gal!!!

A Descriptive Essay: By Corey Treft

The pungent stench of burnt popcorn permeates the narrow hallway of my
apartment building. Lime green wallpaper, like the product of a child with too
many crayons and too much free time, coats the walls. The click of the lock on
my door indicates that the room is accessible and I push it open slowly, the
sappy music of a soap opera filling my ears. The room is void, the hollow shell
of a place unused, and I step forward, clicking off the television and closing
my blinds, shutting out the radiant light beaming in.

Silence. My world is silent and dark. I can see dimly by the light of the microwave, but this is how I like it. I toss my backpack into the corner, the dull thud it makes is the only signification that it landed where I wanted. I dip my hand into a small
bowl on the table near the television, the rustle of the wrappers of the
Creamsaver like the faint rustle of leaves before a thunderstorm. I unwrap it
and pop it into my mouth, the "twisted berry" flavor sweet on my tongue.

I move over to my couch, flopping down on it like a lifeless doll,
stretching out a bit to relieve the growing pain in my back. I close my eyes,
savoring the flavor of the CreamSaver for a moment more before reaching over to
retieve the remote from the table. My time of silence ends abruptly as I flip
the television back on and flip through the channels. Suddenly, Superman flies
through a window and lands gallantly, flip, a wizened woman is teaching me how
to roast a chicken, flip, Bugs Bunny is fooling Elmer Fudd. My eyelids sloyly

Darkness. I am drifting in a sacred world of darkness, little
colorspots dancing across my vision. My chest rises and falls slowly. I hear a
faint "whats up doc" and then nothing.

I enjoyed reading this essay that Corey wrote and thought the rest of you might get some enjoyment out of it also....

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Random ramblings

SHit...I just realized in reading my last post that I still have not called my attorney!! I have got to get that done. Court is currently scheduled for the 18th of this month...better get busy on that. Court isn't really what I wanted to post about tonite. Not really sure what I want to say. Funny how during the day, while I am sitting in mind wanders and all these different subjects arise. I tell myself "I need to put that in my journal" happens and I forget what inspiring thoughts were going through my mind.

Some of the thoughts are of my interactions with others, either through direct contact or just a glance that has many meanings... Ever notice that you can communicate with another human that you have never met before without saying a single word....the other day I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for my daily coffee and this man in line ahead of me was being nothing short of an asshole to the counter clerk. Her eyes met mine for just a split second and somehow we silently communicated our distaste for this man.

Today it snowed, just a little...but just enough to cover the trees and the power lines and the grass and roofs.... It was very pretty. I find that I dont often enough take the time to observe my surroundings.

It's been two weeks since I last went to the gym....I am very disappointed in myself but at the same time I am finding it difficult to find the incentitive to go?? I know that working out is good for my body and I always feel better after I go, but still I can't seem to find "it" in me to get there. I dont know what "it" is, or why some people have "it" and I dont. I would really like to find "it". Maybe I'll put up a lost ad on Craigslist and see if anyone has found my "it"....hey, it might work??

Work sucks...I'm finding myself bored, lonley and "friend-sick". Yep, "friend-sick"!! I cant say that I am home-sick as I really dont miss home...I dont even know where I really consider "home". But I do know that I am sorely missing the familiarity of my friends...the ability to call anytime of the day and go for coffee because I cant sleep, or have someone to "set me straight' on what-ever drama is going on in my life, or someone to bitch to about work, oh.....I could go on forever but anyway I AM FRIENDSICK!!!

I am counting the days left here. I am so very ready to experience some-place new. Yet, at the same time I am finding it difficult to narrow down my options and settle on something. There are multiple possibilities for my next assignment and I just can't seem to priortize. I dont know what is standing in the way...change is good...and I am looking forward to change....omg, it just hit me...I am afraid that I am going to make a "bad" decision!!! Well, that's just no excuse at all!! Even if I choose a place/job that I dont like, it isn't as if I am going to be there's only 13 weeks!!! Ok, now I can do this. Alaska is an option although I dont know anything about the hours/pay yet. Travel will be maybe this isn't a good choice considering that I may be going to court sometime in the next 13 weeks?? South Carolina is another choice but the pay SUCKS, and it puts Corey into a "southern" school (no offense to you southern folks...I love you...but Corey just doesn't do good with the southern schools...he is too much of a non-conformist). Another option is California...the job would be home health and would not give me an opportunity to get any hospital work on my off days unless I wanted to work 7 days a week~which I dont. So...those are my options for now and I think I have just talked myself out of all of them...NOW WHAT???

Enough of this bull for tonite. I dont know if I feel better or worse??